Revising Fiction

Writing is never finished. There is always something that you can add or cut out of a piece of writing. I think that's the beauty of writing. You never run out of new ideas. It's like creative a world out of words. 

I added some pieces to my Jellybean book! basically the book is about a man that wants to live forever, but he finds out that he is going to die. He makes a robot to take care of his family before he dies. Later, the robot takes over, and the world looks something like this:

There is a lot more to the book but the ending looks like this:

 

     

Yes, it has jellybeans!  

The main theme of the book is that sometimes we forget the little things in life. We are always searching for something more than what we have at the moment. 

Here is what I fixed:

 

1. What I added to the story (for those who did read it) was Appollyon was introduced to Jessup's wife, Jolene. I wanted this part of the story to be heart grasping, because this is the first time that the baby kicks in his mother's womb. I wanted Appollyon to feel the first kick, because it causes Jessup to realize that he is going to miss a lot of important stuff in his child's life. I wanted the reader to feel Jessup slowly detach from his family, which I will probably expand on the prologue.  
2. I also explain how the world is lighted, because I did say that the sun died. I decided to go with street lamps. Every day the lamps are turned on for twelve and are turned off at night, which is also twelve hours. 
3.  Goodness, my grammar! I fixed all that. 

I want to say thank you to all my wonderful classmates and teacher, Mrs. Fried. You guys are awesome! Thank you for pointing out places that I needed to fix.